Sri Sathya Sai On: The Duty of Parents and Teachers towards Children

Sri Sathya Sai offering homage to His physical parents on Easwaramma Day at Brindavan

If children are to be persons of good character, adhering to good practices, the parents should be of good character and exemplary conduct. The great teacher, Adi Shankaracharya, was the child of parents who were highly virtuous and noble in their conduct. For the great name attained by Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda, the credit goes to their parents. Many great men achieved name and fame by following in the footsteps of their parents.

A lesson Gandhi learnt as a boy

If Gandhi, who was an ordinary person, was able to achieve greatness and world renown, it was

because of the lessons in good behaviour which he learnt from his mother. The mother used to observe a vow: she would take her food only after the cuckoo sang in the morning. Once when Gandhi was a boy, the mother was waiting for a long time to hear the call of the cuckoo. Observing this, Gandhi went out of the house, imitated the call of the cuckoo and came in and told his mother that the cuckoo had sung and that she could take her food. The mother, who saw through her son's trickery, slapped him on the cheek and said, "You wicked fellow; what sin must I have committed to bear a son like you?" She felt sad that such a child should have been born to her. Her grief touched the heart of Gandhi. From that moment Gandhi took a firm resolve never to utter a lie again.

Young Mohandas Gandhi

In his childhood, Gandhi used to be full of fear. There was a maid in his home called Rambha. Gandhi disclosed to her how he was always afraid. Rambha told him: "Child, always recite the name of Rama. By chanting Rama's name, your fear will go away." From that time Gandhi was

always chanting the name of Rama. The habit of reciting Rama's name, which began in his boyhood, continued fight up to the moment of his passing. Nor was that all. By adhering to the chanting of Rama's name, Gandhiji was able to achieve his aim of winning the country's freedom by non-violent means. For such a life of purity and virtue, the parents were primarily responsible. 

Parents lack refined qualifies 

Unfortunately, today, because the parents themselves have no purity of character and lack refined qualities, and do not lead regulated lives, evil practices and wickedness are growing all over the world. When the parents get up from their beds abusing each other, their children get up assailing each other. Because of the malefic effects of the Kali age, parents tend to be quarrelsome. Fathers are behaving like Hiranyakashyap. Because of such parents, Bharat is witnessing the spread of unrighteousness and evil practices.

In days of yore the people of Bharat earned name and fame by leading virtuous and sacred fives and were an example to the world. The children of today take after their parents. The tree is based on the seed and the seed determines the nature of the tree. For the evil ways and bad behaviour of children today, the parents alone are to be blamed. Few parents choose to tell their children to speak the truth, to act righteously and earn a good name. Because of such bad parents, the nation is forfeiting its good name. It is better that such children are not born at all. They are a disgrace to their parents and to their country. Their education and their jobs may help to bring to them power, position and wealth but do not serve to promote in them such virtues as compassion, kindness and sacrifice. All their acquisitions have no permanence.

Whatever strength one may possesses, without the strength of the Divine, he is a weakling. What happened to a valiant person like Kama? He had physical prowess, intellectual abilities and great scholarship but lacking Divine support, he met with a pitiable end. 

Teachers' failure 

For all the ills with which the nation is afflicted today, the parents and teachers are responsible. The teachers do not punish the students (for their lapses). Because the students are not punished for their mistakes, they behave as they please. The teachers are responsible for the sins of the students. They do not teach the students the right path. They transmit only book knowledge, but do not teach fight knowledge, wise living and higher values. If there are no morals and no human values, a man becomes a demon.

Only he is a real man who harmonises in his life the body, the mind and the Atma. A life based on the body and the senses is an animal existence. One who is totally dominated by the thoughts and fancies of the mind is a demon. One who ignores the calls of the body and the mind and follows the call of the Spirit is Divine. The animal, the demonic and the Divine possibilities are immanent in the human condition. Hence, one who values only the body and follows the inclinations of the senses is comparable to an animal. In a sense, the animal may be considered superior to such a man because it has "a season and a reason" for its behaviour. But one having the human form, who craves for sensuous pleasures alone, is worse than an animal.

Character is more important than wealth

Even for these three kinds of behaviour, the parents and teachers are responsible. They are responsible for the good or bad conduct of the students. It is the parents who lead children to the highest levels or cause their fall to the lowest depths.

Parents are concerned solely about the material welfare of their children and have no concern for their moral and spiritual well-being. When a child is born, the parents desire that he should be educated, sent abroad, encouraged to make as much money as possible there by whatever means. This is all that they teach their children. People today earn money in so many different ways, from begging to dacoity. It is not wealth that is important. Character is primary. Parents do not teach the children to cultivate good qualities. They do not control children who go astray. They condone the lapses of the children and often encourage them in their bad habits. They are encouraged in their wrong ways even as Duryodhana was encouraged by his father, Dhritarashtra. It is because of such parents that the children today take to wrong courses.

Dhritarashtra was not only physically blind, but lacked also the eyes of wisdom. He was totally blind. Parents today are tending to be equally blind. They don't correct the mistakes of their children or chastise them. They are afraid that the children might run away and commit suicide. Parents have the right to warn and correct their children. Why should they be afraid to do so? What does it matter what happens to such wicked children? Instead of being a running sore for the parents, it is better they are no more. Death is preferable to infamy. Nor is there greater wealth than fame. Better to have a renowned son who is short-lived than an infamous son with long life.

Ensure World Peace

The foremost thing which man has to acquire today is God's love. This love will secure world peace, peace in society and peace in the home. Through the individual's love and morality, there will be peace and security in the home. By individuals winning the love of God, society secures peace and order. When the people have got the love of God, the world as a whole enjoys peace and happiness.

Happiness and peace are not to be found in wealth, position or power. All these generate only fear and anxiety and not peace and happiness. Today, even highly educated persons do not recognise this truth, pose as devotees, but follow the examples of their parents. Hiranyakashyap tried all methods to divert his son, Prahlada, from devotion to God. The child was subjected to every conceivable kind of torture and ordeal: trampling by elephants, biting by cobras and immersion in the sea. But Prahlada's devotion to the Lord saved him. Disregarding his perverse father, Prahlada held fast to the Lord.

Lord Narasimha, Hiranyakashyap and Prahalad

Noble and Divine feelings are absent today

There is nothing great about being a father. No father can rejoice merely when a son is born. Only when the people praise the virtues of the son will the father rejoice over his birth. A righteous son redeems himself and his family. Verily, they alone are fit to be called parents who bring up such virtuous children.

Prahlada declared, "He alone is a father who tells his son: Child, realise God. He is a true Guru who leads the disciple to God." Such teachers and parents have become rare these days. All that had brought fame and glory to the country in the past has become a waste because of the decline of moral values and behaviour. The educational system is utterly vitiated. There is no attempt to promote human qualities. Noble and Divine feelings are absent. It is utterly unbecoming of those who call themselves human beings to behave like animals with no devotion to God...

Responsibility of parents towards children

Every effort has to be made to experience Divine love and purity. One who has secured love can accomplish anything. Nothing is beyond his reach. Hence, one should be worthy of God's grace. Without Divine grace, man is no more than an animal. Man should strive to control his senses, develop good qualifies and lead an ideal life. Parents are primarily responsible for bringing up children who will lead such ideal lives. Therefore, they have to reform themselves.

Today parents all over the country are worried about the conduct of their children and are not at all happy. They lament about the behaviour of their children, but do not realise that they are themselves to be blamed. If the parents had brought up the children on fight lines, would they go astray? Pampering the children in various ways, they are allowed to go about like street dogs. How can such boys be reformed? It is impossible. When wealth grows, arrogance increases and morality declines.

Shabari and Rama

Men should realise that without God's love, human existence is utterly valueless. A bird like Jatayu earned God's grace. A simple old woman like Shabari won God's love. But men today, despite their scholarship and scientific knowledge, are making no attempts to secure God's love. What is the use of this education or science? True science should serve to promote the progress of the nation. But today, in the name of science, the world is being destroyed. Education should not breed a class of parasites, who exploit others. It should help to promote good qualities.

Rama caressing an injured Jatayu

Victory can be won only with God's grace

Students should remember that this country was known in the past as a land where people led truthful and righteous lives. Krishna told Arjuna that he should consider God and Dharma (righteousness) as most important. Because the Pandavas adhered to righteousness and had firm faith in God, they could ultimately enjoy all prosperity and happiness. Because of their love for God, they could bear with fortitude all troubles and difficulties. What was the fate of the Kauravas who ignored God? Not one of Dhritarashtra's 100 sons survived. Despite all the resources they had and the valiant commanders who were on their side, God was not on their side.

Lord Krishna and Arjuna

True victory can be won only by God's grace. Strive for securing the love of God. Today, love is being misused for satisfying the senses, with deplorable results. (Swami related the dialogue between Yajnavalkya and his wife, Maitreyee, over attachment to the things of the world and pointed out how Maitreyee was as ready to give up worldly possessions as the sage himself). Today, such couples are rare. There must be such couples who will give birth to virtuous children. Only virtuous children can bring a good name to the country.

Of what use is a son who does not use his hands to perform good deeds, who does not use his tongue to utter the Lord's name and who does not cherish in his mind truth and compassion? This is the triple purity that makes human life sublime.

Students should dedicate their lives to the service of others. Cultivate love. Remember the great mothers in the past who gave to the world Avatars from time to time. What is the inner significance of observing today as Mother's day? It means that women should become such great mothers. The fathers should be exemplary in their conduct. When the fathers are not setting the fight example, the children should be such as to have the courage to correct the parents. But unfortunately there are neither exemplary parents nor exemplary children.

Source: Divine Discourse on Easwaramma Day at Brindavan - May 6, 1992