My Sai experience was not one in which I was directly involved; rather, it was my mother’s and it is proof of Swami’s benign love and mercy.
My family was living at that time in Canada. My mother first heard of Swami from my grandmother in 1969 and she immediately put all her faith in Him. Suddenly, in 1972, a tragedy nearly stuck our family. My mother suddenly started having migraine headaches and body pains. Although she went to the hospital many times, the doctors could not diagnose it at first. Finally after many X-rays and brain scans, it was discovered that a cancerous tumour had developed inside her brain. The doctors had no hope for her. She was given a maximum span of three months to live. Four operations were performed on her, but the cancerous growth was not stunted.
I cannot, nor can I begin to, imagine the agony and the pain of the approaching death. Having nourished much devotion since childhood, she prayed fervently to God, asking Him to give her life. She prayed to Lord Venkateshwara and to our beloved Swami. She prayed for her life, for the sake of her children (my sisters and I). She believed that Swami wanted her to guide us onto the right path, and for us not to go astray. She prayed for strength and courage and our dear Sai conferred these upon her.
She went into the operation for the fifth and final time, as the doctors had already given up hope. Previously the doctors had no hope of removing the cancerous growth. It was removed quite easily with the helping hands of Sai this time.
The doctors, however, set another obstacle. They said she would remain a ‘vegetable’ in a wheelchair, an invalid instead of giving encouragement; they gave only despair and deep despondency. The result of the operation was that her entire left side was paralyzed and the right side of her brain ceased to function. Many others, at this point, would have given up, lacking both the determination and the willpower to proceed further. My mother again prayed to Swami saying that she wanted to look after us as a real mother would. Sai again blessed her with moral support. He lent her the strength of the Divine mother and slowly but surely, she progressed at her physiotherapy classes.
She did not have to be confined to the wheelchair as thought by the pessimistic doctors; she could walk by dragging her left foot behind her right. Her left arm was bent at a 45 degree angle so that it turned inwards. She had only the use of her right arm and leg.
She could have hired a servant. “No,” she said, “Swami wants me to be independent.” She first walked with a cane, and one could easily make out her figure in a multitude, yet, she could now clean, cook, wash clothes, all through the grace of Sai. Constant singing of Bhajans and a constant remembrance of Swami is what pulled her through. Even in 1979, she started working at an office job, the reason to see Swami in India.
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| With Sri Sathya Sai in the Prasanthi Nilayam Interview Room |
We went in 1980 and 1985. In August 1985, Swami granted us an interview and in it, He revealed her entire past - the many operations, the pain and lovingly said in Telugu, “Nee Kastaalanne Naaketelusu. Nenu Mandu Istanu.” It means, “I know all your problems and difficulties. I will give you medicine.” We thought it would be in the physical form, perhaps some Vibhuti.
On the same occasion He told me to study in His school this year. Indeed, as soon as I joined the hostel, she wrote to the all-knowing Swami that she is slowly getting the feeling in her arms and legs. With Swami’s grace, she will hopefully have full use of it someday. Although it was really my mother and not I who went through the ordeal I still feel as though the experience was, and is, a part of me, a Sai experience. Oh, how wonderful and loving the merciful One is our dear Mother SAI!
- Jagdeesh Rao
Alumnus, Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School
Prasanthi Nilayam
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