Sai Mere Praana Sakha Bhagavan - By Hirak Doshi

The clarion call came from the Lord on 19th May, 2011, when He offered me a seat in His hallowed institution. My joy knew no bounds. I had fervently prayed to Him for this opportunity and He responded. Thus began my journey with Sai, a journey full of bliss, a journey towards self-realisation. Things started sinking in slowly as days passed, for the Lord had started chiselling to sculpt out the shining diamond as He wanted. Let me narrate one of my experiences to validate this statement. It was in my second year in Brindavan, that I injured my leg while playing basketball, barefoot. The injury was not that deep, but I was advised to take an anti-tetanus injection. Soon after that injection I contracted high fever. For the next two days I was completely down. It was the Third Year Students’ Day (a day when third students are anointed with their batch name). While all of the students in the Hostel went for the programme I was alone in the room. After the programme was over my room leader came back to the room. He touched my forehead and remarked, 

“Hirak, it’s burning hot”. I was anxious because I had already taken two tablets and I did not want to take the third one. I then went back to my sole refuge ‘The Chit Box’, picked up one chit and it read ‘Your actions in the past are responsible for this, Pray to Sai’. Immediately I started praying to Him to make things easier for me. I kept His photo in my pocket (one in which Swami was materializing the Hiranyagarbha Lingam). Believe it or not, the fever went down within 15 minutes and by night prayer I was almost normal.

Can I ever understand His ways? Can I ever comprehend the depth of His love and concern? I think I should not try doing something silly for it will be a futile attempt. I started experiencing Him more and more and started loving Him more and more. And the lessons learnt in my Bal Vikas days paved the way for His love and concern for me. I had a long-standing desire that Swami should speak to me in Bengali. I know this is something weird but the mind cannot be devoid of desires and I forgot about it. One night Swami appeared in my dream and the dream was as follows:

Sri Sathya Sai at Trayee Brindavan

I was hurrying for a ‘Trayee Session’ and on reaching Trayee gate I saw Swami pacing up and down the side room next to the main room. It was as if He was waiting for somebody. Later I realised that He was waiting for me. I hurriedly rushed to Him and without thinking anything asked, “Swami, Padanamaskar?” Then came the Divine Master stroke. Swami spoke in Bengali and told, “Nao” which in Bengali means ‘take’. The dream ended there and the next morning I got up ecstatic and overwhelmed. 

I only had his Darshan in the physical domain, but through this dream He gave me Sparshan (Touch) as well as Sambhashan (Conversation). He is the one who fulfills even the smallest of the wishes if it emerges from a yearning heart. Can I ever thank Swami for anything? Can I ever reciprocate even an iota of love as a gift to Him for this selfless love? Well, I do not know. My stay in Brindavan for three years was a turning point in my life. The amount of learning that took place is inexplicable. Every day ushered in something new, every Trayee visit was a feast for the soul and the mind. 

I remember Sri Sanjay Sahni, the Director of the campus addressing in Prayer Hall “The Nootan (present generation), in order to reach the Sanathan (eternity), needs the help of Puratan (scriptures, Vedas)”. Taking this as an inspiration from the very first day, I learnt Vedam, participated in Bhajans and tried to shorten my distance between me and Swami in every conceivable way. I remember once Sri Sanjay Sahni arranged for us an appointment with Dr. Mahesh, an adept at Nadi Vaidya (a natural and ayurvedic blend of healing technique just by touching the veins). I was not very comfortable with the climate at Brindavan and was prone to severe allergic sneezing. That day while treating me, Dr. Mahesh shared something very dramatic. Just the previous night, Swami came in His dream and told him, “Go to Brindavan, two boys are waiting for you”. That one statement from Swami made him drive 30 kilometers from Malleshwaram just to treat two unknown persons free of cost and that too, at a time as early as 8.30 am. This meant that he had to start as early as 6.30 am in the morning. Dr. Mahesh while sharing this incident made a remark which still rings in my ears. He told me, “Do you see Swami’s concern for His children? The very fact that He had told me to come to Brindavan today is an indication that you have to do a lot of work for Swami in future. That is why He wants you to stay fit”. What greater fortune do I need than this? Can there be a greater blessing than being an instrument in His Divine mission?

Many-a-time I have tried to understand His ways only to end up being baffled and dumbfounded. As Dr. T. Ravi Kumar, our warden, mentioned in a talk in the Prasanthi Vidwan Mahasabha 2014, He is the Divine Mother whose love and concern knows no bounds. It is not worth wasting time on finding the making of the sweet, instead of enjoying its taste and sweetness. Such is the case with our Lord. It is not at all necessary to understand Him because we simply cannot understand Him. Let us all immerse ourselves in that nectarine sweetness of His Divine Love.

At this point I am reminded of one more incident. This happened very recently. During the last winter vacation while returning home I had to board the connecting Jagannath Express from Bhubaneswar towards Kolkata. After boarding the train at 12 o’clock in the night and putting my luggage properly, I went to sleep. The next morning I got up just as the train was approaching the Howrah station. A vague perception of something disastrous swept across my mind when I touched my pocket. The keys were missing! After some time I realised that my luggage was all right and the amount of money that I was carrying was also intact. I heaved a sigh of relief, but I needed to find the keys. Otherwise I would not be able to open my luggage and my Hostel cupboard. I was tensed. I searched everywhere and even asked the attender of the coach and my co-passengers but none could help. By this time the train arrived at the Howrah station. After handing over my luggage to my parents I went back again to search in the same compartment looking for the keys. Suddenly feeling my pocket once again I came in contact with something metallic, realizing that they were the missing keys. I had not spared any pockets when I was frantically searching for the keys, and they were not there for sure. The Lord came to the rescue of His child in distress.

Most beloved Bhagavan! Can I ever fathom the depth of your love, I am ignorant. Why do I love You Lord? Should I love You because You cured my fever or because You got me back my lost keys in the train from nowhere. Or because You got my grandfather back from the clutches of death when he broke his shoulder? Those were Your visiting cards Swami, as You call them. There is something subtle and transcendental which encapsulates each of these events. That something is nothing but ‘Love’- unsullied, unconditional. It is an assurance that there is someone above me who looks after me, takes care of me and most important of all, He is my ‘Praana Sakha’ (Eternal Friend). Bhagavan! As a person of limited resources, allow me to summon up all that You have given me to offer to You, on this most awaited 90th Birthday Celebrations. Let me on this day offer myself to You completely.

- Hirak Doshi

Student (2011-2016); 
Currently, Doctoral Research Scholar
 Department of Mathematics & Computer Sciences

Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning
Prasanthi Nilayam

Source: Sai Nandana 2015 (90th Birthday Offering)