Right from the word ‘go’ in the lap of Mother Sai in 1999, my life took a turn towards my own self. All my unanswered questions seemed to be unfolding themselves in front of my eyes. With an ambition to secure a seat in the MBA course in Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, I stepped into the portals of the Institute in May 1999. Though I was not very confident of making it to the interview, I was short listed for the same. Coming from a Science background, what was all the more surprising was my name figuring in the final list of MFM (Master of Financial Management) instead of the MBA course! I took this as Divine Will and joined the course to do my best.
The course curricula which aimed at the overall development of the body, mind and the soul were truly interesting. The Hostel schedule functioning with clock-work precision, changed my erstwhile lazy attitude in my day to day activities. While Accounts was a totally new subject for me, coming from a Science background, the professors were very helpful in training me in basics of Accountancy.
I had to put in extra effort in the subject “Cost and Management Accounting” to come up to the expected levels of performance. The first semester results were out and I was shocked to learn that I did not pass the Cost and Management Accountancy paper. It was as if my life had come to a standstill! For a moment it shook my faith in myself and my Mother Sai. My brothers and teachers helped me to gather courage.
I gave the second semester examination and was pretty confident that I had done well in all my papers including the one on Cost and Management Accountancy. As if destined, I failed to pass the paper in the supplementary examination too! The world had now really come to an end. I did not believe in myself and could not digest the fact that I had failed in a single subject twice over. All this had happened in spite of obtaining an overall ‘O’ (Outstanding) grade in the rest of the subjects.
What next? As per the university guidelines I had to discontinue my MFM course and retake the Cost and Management Accountancy exam as a fresher at the end of the new academic year. I was asked to discontinue my MFM course for one whole semester. All this made me feel as if I was fit for nothing. All my requests to the University authorities were turned down. I got nothing but sympathy. I felt as if I was a burden on this earth and lost faith in everybody including my own self. I did not know what was in store for me and with a broken heart I prayed to Mother Sai. I cried out my agony to Her. I wrote a number of letters to provide me with just one more opportunity to prove my worth, but all in vain. I did not have the courage to face my family and society.
I soon realised at that point that separation from Mother Sai was more painful than my failure in the examination and believed that my academics were the only way by which I could stay in Sai’s physical proximity. One day during the Darshan I grabbed the feet of my Divine Mother and wept like a child who had been separated from his mother. Mother Sai answered my prayers in Her own way by saying that ‘everything happens for your own good.’
I did not understand Mother’s words and kept cursing my fate for my failure. I had to spend six months at home doing my project work, help my parents in shifting home and was still feeling lost in this world. Little did I know that it was in this period of my life that I would encounter somebody who would turn out to be my soul mate at a later stage in my life.
Six months down the line I was back into my Mother’s fold to continue my studies. All my juniors were my classmates now. It is only in a Sai Institution that you live as brothers and sisters. Nobody is ever looked down upon for any reason. I slowly began to realise what an opportunity I was blessed with. I learnt the practical lessons of life while I was physically away from Mother Sai. I had the opportunity to put my learning to practice and now I was back again to relearn and of course, correct my life through my experiences.
I passed my Cost and Management Accountancy paper in my third attempt and went on to pass my MFM with an ‘O’ grade. I was very much doubtful of my career prospects because of my initial failure. I never knew what was in store for me. Nothing is unknown to Mother Sai. A day after appearing for my last exam, I was employed with one of the leading organisations of the country. That was the infinite Grace of the Mother. Truly everything happens for our own good.
- Vikram Eluri
Student (1999-2001), Department of Management and Commerce
Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning
Prasanthi Nilayam Campus
Currently, Account Manager at Capgemini, Los Angeles, USA
Source: Fragrance 2005
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