Nuclear Family or Joint Family: Which System is Better?

My Dear Students! 

You can develop your science and knowledge to any extent. There is nothing wrong in it. Learn everything. That is awareness in life. There is nothing wrong in learning. Subject all of your learning to discrimination, i.e. whether it is right or wrong, truth or not, permanent or temporary; and follow that which is true. 

Here is a small example. See the narrow-mindedness formed because of education. People are developing themselves in an environment of narrow-mindedness and eccentricity. There are two different kinds of families. One is a nuclear family where there are father, mother and children. This sort of family is narrow. In a joint family, there are grandparents, parents and children, all living together. What is happening now is that in a nuclear family, both father and mother go to office, and the child has to stay with the maidservant or peon. These children develop the qualities of the peon or maid servant. They may become good for nothing. Parents get their children educated paying some money as fees. The parents do not even think as to where the son is, what he is doing, where he is going and how he is growing up. 

In a joint family, even if parents go to work, grandparents will be taking care of children. They will be teaching them right conduct and good things about life and steer the life of the children in the proper direction. In the nuclear family if parents quarrel with each other, there is no one to settle the issue. But in joint family, either the parents or in-laws advice the quarrelling mother and father against it. Today, the joint family system has disintegrated. How can those who are ruining their own families develop broader outlook? They don’t even care for their parents. They chant ‘Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu’ (May all the beings in the world be happy) out of sheer recklessness without any sort of sensitivity of implementing it. 

Firstly, this nuclear family should be broadened. Joint family should be the family system. There is a lot of benefit in the joint family system. There are many ways people benefit out of such a system. Good qualities develop in children. This system has been responsible for upholding the respect and honour of the family. There is no use of nuclear families. They are only pomp and show. 

Today, we are teaching children artificial nursery rhymes such as “twinkle-twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.” Consequently children are not learning anything worthwhile. Devoid of the real knowledge and wisdom, they are cheating the world outside. This is not what we are supposed to teach. The society has to be transformed. The country should develop. The family should be uplifted. If everyone contributes to the upliftment of their families and society, the country will prosper. Today people are not feeling the responsibility towards their family. 

Students! 

Firstly take care of your family. Uphold the respect and honour of your family. Keep your parents happy. If you cannot do that, there is no use acquiring so many degrees.

Inspite of his education and intelligence, a mean minded person will not give up his evil qualities.

Modern education leads only to argumentation, not to total wisdom.

What is the use of acquiring education which cannot lead you to immortality?

Acquire the knowledge that will make you immortal.

One may acquire a high academic qualification such as M.A. or B.A. and attain exalted position.

One may amass wealth, perform acts of charity and attain name and fame.

One may have physical strength and enjoy a long and healthy life.

One may be a great scholar studying and preaching the Vedas.

But none can equal a true devotee of the Lord!

Without devotion all these are useless. A toy looks beautiful in all aspects. The eyes are like stars. Nose looks like a gem. Hands and legs look beautiful. All the parts of the body have correct dimensions. But there is no life. All your education is like that. You have everything. You passed M.A., M.B.A., Ph.D., etc. If there is no character, then of what use is all this? One should develop virtues. Of what use is teaching music to a deaf person? The same is the case with our Upanishads and scriptures. If there is no character, there is no use learning all the scriptures and calling oneself a scholar.

Source: True Education is Knowledge with Discrimination, Discourse 7, My Dear Students Volume 5, Divine Discourse delivered on June 24, 1989 at the Sri Sathya Sai Hostel, Prasanthi Nilayam